Every year, or every February I should write, I am often tasked with writing and reflecting on myself. I've done a 28-day self-love challenge twice and before that other reflecting project. This year I really wanted to have fun and make this moment exciting for me.
The other day I was listening to the radio while running some errands and I realized how much my taste in music has changed. I turned 41 in November of 2023 and since then I have welcomed the changes that come. One is definitely music. When I hear my son who is 22 blasting his music I am immediately bothered and feeling like a bunch of sounds that don't go together is loud for no reason. Yes, I'm old, and I don't care. I am constantly yelling down the hall to turn that music down.
Nevertheless, music still plays a huge role in my life. I literally have a soundtrack to my life- in the mornings its meditation and vibration, frequency music/sounds, around noon I really want to hear something positive and light and upbeat so I may play something fun from my playlist like Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson something late 80s or early 90s.
In the afternoon if I'm out in the car I may want to hear something upbeat or hard core like rap or hip hop. And in the evenings when I'm winding down, I may want to hear some old school Marvin Gaye, or Anita Baker. In the gym I'm blasting a lot of techno, disco, dance music, Latino music, reggaeton.
Music has played a big role in my view on relationships. Some of my most toxic thoughts on love and relationships have probably come from lyrics from a song or my interpretation on what those lyrics meant. I recognized that music changes your mood. Music has made me want to dance, fight, sing, shout, kiss, fall in love, lust, cry and probably every other emotion. I listen to music to do everything- cook, clean, exercise, shower and get dressed, write and work. It's constantly motivating my life's choices even when I'm unaware.
At times I've made conscious decisions to not listen to music or certain types of music if I'm experiencing different moods. For example, if I just got into a heated argument I won't listen to "Knuck if you Buck" or Tear the Club Up or songs that make me want to fight. I might put on classical music, jazz, Sade, Gospel Music, or frequency sounds.
Music exacerbates your mood and emotions. "Listening to (or making) music increases blood flow to brain regions that generate and control emotions. The limbic system, which is involved in processing emotions and controlling memory, "lights" up when our ears perceive music.
The chills you feel when you hear a particularly moving piece of music may be the result of dopamine...As your brain becomes familiar with a particular song, your body may release dopamine upon hearing just the first few notes of the song (Fink)."
Over the past few weeks, I've thought about the most influential songs in my life. These are songs that I listen to often, they take me to a certain time and place in the past, and I can listen to them anytime. But most importantly these are songs that have influenced my thoughts on love and relationships.
I initially wanted to countdown my favorite love songs for the next 28 days, but I realized that I couldn't do that without people thinking that these would be sappy songs talking about the happy times in love and falling in love. But the truth is there are so many other facets of love and I love listening to songs that sing about all of the moments in love.
If I did make a list #28 on that list would be "Love is A Battlefield" by Pat Benatar. The lyrics to this song are written and sung in a way that you feel the intensity and the meaning. I grew up reading and watching fairy tales of happily ever after and songs like this reminds you of the realities of love. Love is a battlefield of give and take, push and pull and if you only learn about the prince and princess, you are shocked when you run into any other than that.
We are young
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